Why comparing children is wrong


I want to write about this for a very long time. In fact I think I have so much to say, that I will most certainly miss something. My daughter is now 2 years old and for the past 20 something months I have met with many different mums on very different occasions. I also got myself into online mum groups to seek advice, share things that happened to my daughter or just reading other mum`s problems and how they solve it. Being a mum means you will become part of at least one mum group at some point of your parental experience. There is a stage after birth that your single friends will come one by one to meet the new addition and bring lovely gifts, but then will almost forget your existence. They just assume you are too busy or may not fancy listening about baby burps and sleep habits just yet. I don`t blame them, it is kinda  boring anyway. This is why you gradually find yourself with these new mums and their lovely babies. Some of them will share your way of parenting, some of them will have their own ideas of how things get done. And that`s perfectly normal. Until you meet this one person who always compare her child with everyone else`s. Or even worse, telling you how your child is supposed to reach a milestone and she hadn`t yet! Or how her son is eating big portions of broccoli, while your child eat only pasta and bread. It can be devastating! I remember being so frustrated reading a thread in one Facebook group about kids at my daughters age able to say 30-40 words! They were all at the same age, but my darling could say only mama and dada at this point. I was angry, I felt helpless, I even took my 12 months old daughter to be seen by the doctor if she has slow speech development. My doctor laughed and she said she is perfectly normal and I shouldn`t expects much before her 2 birthday. It was a relief, and then I realized I need to get rid of all these people comparing my child with any other person out there. We are all individuals, and so are our babies and toddlers. Think twice next time you want to say something about a child that doesn`t walk or talk yet. It hurt the parents so much and give them unnecessary worries. Every child that is healthy will reach his milestones at some point. Don`t push him to drink from a big cup if he is not ready yet, don`t teach him to clap all they long and then get disappointed if she doesn`t do the same, don`t  push him to do activities that he is not ready to process just yet. Let your child lead you and be grateful when he does things on his own, because this is what counts. Instead of worrying about your child not being like the rest in his group, concetrate on him being an individual and doing things his way. Celebrate his success and respect his pace. You will be surpised what few weeks can do to a small child. She can get from silent to little chatter box, she can not only walk, but even run, she will try to make you laugh and she will copy everything you do. So instead of comparing, just give love and care. Be there for your child and be reasenoble. Be proud, but also try to stay humble.

Radina xoxo

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